Shooting My Chair

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SHOOTING MY CHAIR


Shooting My Chair: So here is the story of how some of the older Rogues know about me shooting my chair.

I had this desk chair for several years, it kept getting looser and looser and would wobble every time I sat down in it, well it got so bad that every now and then if I leaned a little too far to the right or left it would almost tip me out of it. And then one day... the fucker did tip me out onto the floor! I was playing AC and talking in Ventrilo to Wulf and a few of my guildmates, this was before I joined the Rogues, and I leaned down to pick up something that fell off of my desk, well the goddamn chair dumped me right out on my ass and by God  I had enough of that fucking chair! I slammed my headphones down on the desk, grabbed the back door and threw it open and picked up my chair and threw the fucker outside into the back yard, I then grabbed my 9mm Smith & Wesson and stood out the back door and filled the motherfucker chair full of lead and as I shot it I yelled "FUCK YOU CHAIR!!!!!! BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM, HA HA HA!"  So after I went back inside the house I grabbed a chair out of my kitchen and sat down in it at the desk and put my headphones on and said I'm back... thinking no one heard me...  what I didn't know was when I threw the headphones down it somehow with a chance of 1 out of 10,000 hit my talk button so that everyone in Ventrilo heard the whole damn thing and they were CRACKING UP in ventrilo. I lived out in the country so no neighbors were around to call the cops or anything, luckily.

So the next day I went and bought a replacement chair and brought it in the back door past the old chair and told the new one not to fuck with me and dump me out or its dead chair carcass would be outside next to the old one!

A few days later my dad came by to pick up a tool or something and we went to the backyard to get it, we walked by the chair that was still in the backyard full of holes, he looked at the chair and looked at me and said.. "so, you shot your chair huh?", I replied "yep" and that was all that was said.. like it was perfectly normal for it to happen, or he understood perhaps because he wanted to shoot a chair in the past, or maybe he just realized I was fucking nuts and let it all slide by...

But there you have it, the chair vs. Pizz. Pizz won that did, or did he?